oleh bhidajat88

Key Principles for a Lasting Relationship in marriage, marketplace and ministry

Love-based relationship principles that are applicable in marriage, the marketplace, and ministry.

Introduction:
Love isn’t just a romantic ideal—it’s the foundational principle of all relationships. In marriage, business, and friendship, love as described in 1 Corinthians 13 teaches us how to treat others as God treats us. This profound concept of love transcends mere emotions; it calls us to embody patience, kindness, and forgiveness, embodying the virtues that foster deep connections and mutual respect. These principles are not suggestions—they are the framework for Christlike living, guiding our interactions and decisions in a world that often seeks to divide rather than unite. By applying these teachings, we not only enhance our personal relationships but also cultivate an environment of love and understanding that can inspire others, making our communities stronger and more harmonious.

1. Choose not to sweat THE small STUFFS

In a relationship, differences and conflicts can happen, as no two people are exactly alike. It's essential to recognize that these variances can enrich your connection, bringing new perspectives and opportunities for growth.

Primary Verse: “Love is not irritable or resentful… it does not insist on its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Love values peace more than proving a point, recognizing that harmony fosters deeper connections among individuals. In a world often driven by the need to be right, choosing understanding over conflict can transform relationships and communities.

Cross-Reference: “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” — Proverbs 29:11 

This wisdom highlights the importance of self-control and the strength that comes from restraint, encouraging us to prioritize peace and thoughtful dialogue over the pursuit of being correct. When we embody this principle, we contribute to a more compassionate society where love triumphs over discord.
  • Marriage: Let go of minor frustrations—focus on connection, not control. Instead, prioritize open communication and mutual respect. Establish routines that nurture your relationship and make time for each other, allowing both partners to express their feelings and needs freely.
  • Business: Overlook minor annoyances and grievances for the sake of fostering teamwork and collaboration among team members, as these small irritations can often be detrimental to the overall group dynamic and productivity.
  • Friendship: Don’t overanalyze or dwell on small mistakes; instead, focus on the overall quality of the relationship and cherish the time spent together.


“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Ruth Bell Graham

Principle: Choose not to sweat small things, as letting minor disputes slide can foster a more harmonious environment where both partners feel respected and valued. By focusing on the bigger picture and prioritizing open communication, you can navigate through challenges together, strengthening your bond and mutual understanding in the process.

2. Extend Grace Before Judgment

Always extend grace and not judgement, for our world is filled with imperfections and moments of strife that often lead individuals to act in ways that may seem uncharacteristic or flawed. Each person we encounter carries their own burdens, shaped by their personal experiences, fears, and challenges that often remain unseen. When confronted with behaviors that perplex or irritate us, it is crucial to remember that what we perceive as flaws may simply be the result of someone grappling with their own battles. By choosing empathy over criticism, we create an environment where understanding flourishes and individuals feel supported rather than condemned. In this way, we foster connections that not only heal wounds but also uplift spirits, allowing everyone to grow and learn from their mistakes in a compassionate space.

Primary Verse: “Love is patient and kind… bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7)

Love leads with grace and gives others the benefit of the doubt, understanding that everyone is on their unique journey filled with challenges and struggles. By offering kindness and empathy, we create an environment where healing and growth can flourish. As we choose to believe the best in others, we cultivate trust and connection that transcends misunderstandings. 
Cross-Reference: “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.” — Luke 6:36. 
This profound verse serves as a reminder of the boundless compassion that we are encouraged to extend towards others, reflecting the mercy that God shows us daily. In a world often filled with judgment and harshness, this call to be merciful challenges us to adopt a posture of kindness and understanding, allowing us to foster a community built on love and acceptance. By embodying this spirit of mercy, we not only bring healing to those around us but also align ourselves more closely with divine grace, thereby transforming our interactions and relationships into opportunities for growth and reconciliation.
  • Marriage: Offer patience when your spouse falls short, understanding that everyone has their moments of weakness and that support can lead to growth over time.
  • Business: Lead your team with trust, not suspicion. Create an environment where open communication flourishes, and every team member feels valued and empowered to contribute their ideas and insights.
  • Friendship: Listen without jumping to conclusions, as understanding each other’s feelings and perspectives is essential for nurturing a strong and lasting bond.

“You can’t love someone and judge them at the same time.” – Jackie Hill Perry

Principle: By choosing to offer understanding and compassion rather than criticism, we create an environment that fosters healing and growth. This approach not only uplifts those around us but also cultivates a sense of community and belonging. Embracing grace enables us to connect on a deeper level, recognizing that everyone is fighting their own battles, and in doing so, we become a source of support and kindness in an often harsh world.

3. Accept People as They Are

Acceptance is the important key to a good relationship. No one is perfect; every person has his or her strengths but also weaknesses. To have a good relationship, we need to accept both the strengths as well as weaknesses.

Primary Verse: “Love is kind… bears all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7)

Love embraces people as they are—not as we want them to be. It thrives in the acceptance of imperfections and flaws, understanding that each person carries unique experiences and stories that shape who they are. True love recognizes the beauty in vulnerability and encourages growth without imposing unrealistic expectations. In this way, love becomes a nurturing force, fostering deeper connections and fostering an environment where individuals can blossom into their authentic selves. It is in the acknowledgement of our differences and the commitment to appreciating one another that genuine relationships flourish.

Cross-Reference: “Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” — Romans 15:7. 

This profound verse reminds us of the importance of hospitality and acceptance within our communities. Just as Christ embraced all individuals, regardless of their background or shortcomings, we too are called to extend our hands and hearts to those around us. By fostering an environment of inclusivity and love, we contribute to a greater purpose that glorifies God and reflects His unconditional love. Our actions of welcome can transform lives, building bridges of understanding and compassion that resonate deeply with the teachings of Christ.
  • Marriage: Accept your spouse as they are, with their strengths and weaknesses, understanding that no one is perfect and that mutual growth requires patience, love, and a willingness to embrace both the light and shadow of each other’s personalities.
  • Business: Respect diverse perspectives and talents by recognizing the unique experiences, backgrounds, and skills that each individual brings to the table, fostering an inclusive environment where everyone feels valued and empowered to contribute their ideas and insights.
  • Friendship: Accept friends without demanding they change for you; true friendship thrives on acceptance and understanding, allowing each person to be their authentic selves.


“To be fully known and truly loved… is what we need more than anything.” – Tim Keller

Principle: Acceptance fosters an environment of trust and understanding, allowing individuals to express their true selves without fear of judgment. It also encourages open communication, where partners can discuss their flaws and strengths candidly. By acknowledging that everyone has imperfections, we create a bond that is resilient and supportive, enabling us to navigate challenges together and grow in the process. Thus, embracing both the good and the bad not only strengthens relationships but also enriches our understanding of one another, paving the way for deeper connections and lasting harmony.

4. Let Go of Grudges and Keep No Score

In any relationship, we cannot avoid misunderstandings. One important key is our ability to forgive and forget. This does not mean erasing the memory from our mind, but rather not harboring hurt, resentment, or other negative feelings.

Primary Verse: “Love keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5)
Cross-Reference: “As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” — Psalm 103:12

  • Marriage: Forgive quickly; don’t weaponize past mistakes. Instead, focus on discussing what went wrong openly and constructively, ensuring that both partners feel heard and respected in the process. This approach fosters a healthier environment for growth and understanding, reinforcing the love and commitment shared between partners.
  • Business: Show maturity by moving forward after failure, recognizing that setbacks are a natural part of the growth process and using the lessons learned to build a stronger foundation for future success.
  • Friendship: Drop the record-keeping and move in grace, allowing the bonds to flourish naturally without the weight of past grievances.

“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner.” – Corrie ten Boom

Principle: In this process, we need to develop empathy and understand our partner's perspective. Facing misunderstandings with an open and honest attitude can help us both find better solutions. By doing so, we not only resolve the existing problems but also strengthen our bond through a healthy conflict resolution process. This is a crucial step in enriching the emotional experience in our relationship, allowing us to move forward together in a better way.

Love forgives and forgets—just as God does.

5. Give Without Expecting in Return

Instead of demanding our spouse to change, we need to have the attitude of giving, serving, and caring, understanding that relationships thrive on mutual respect and support.

Primary Verse: “Love does not seek its own… is not arrogant or rude” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5)

Love gives freely because its motive is pure, nurturing connections that uplift the spirit and enrich the lives of those involved. It transcends boundaries and expectations, radiating warmth and kindness without ulterior motives. In this selfless act of giving, love creates an environment of trust and safety, allowing individuals to flourish and embrace their true selves openly. The genuine essence of love inspires people to reach out, fostering deeper connections and cultivating a sense of belonging that resonates through every heartfelt gesture.


Cross-Reference: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” — Acts 20:35. 

This profound statement highlights the importance of generosity and selflessness in our lives. When we give to others, whether it's through our time, resources, or love, we not only uplift those around us but also enrich our own lives in ways we may not fully understand. The act of giving cultivates a sense of community and connection, reminding us that we are all part of a larger tapestry of humanity. Ultimately, embracing this principle can lead to a deeper fulfillment and joy, reinforcing the belief that true happiness often comes from uplifting others rather than merely seeking our own gain.
  • Marriage: Love sacrificially without demanding a return, embracing the journey together through life’s challenges and joys, fostering a bond that grows deeper with each shared experience.
  • Business: Invest in others’ success, not just your own. This means actively supporting colleagues and fellow entrepreneurs, sharing valuable resources, and fostering collaborations that uplift everyone involved rather than solely focusing on personal gains.
  • Friendship: Give time, support, and care with no strings attached, fostering connections that can last a lifetime, where both individuals feel valued and understood through shared experiences and open communication.

“The greatest form of love is to give without expecting in return.” – Rick Warren

Principle: By embracing a mindset of compassion and patience, we create an environment where both partners feel valued and heard. This approach not only fosters deeper emotional connections but also encourages growth and transformation in a way that feels natural, rather than forced. When we focus on nurturing our love through acts of kindness and understanding, we build a stronger foundation that can withstand challenges and lead to a more fulfilling partnership.

6. Speak with Kindness and Intentionality

One of the sources of conflict in marriage or in any other relationship is that someone is hurt because of the words of another person. Words can carry powerful emotions and meanings, often leading to misunderstandings and pain when thoughtless remarks are made. To have a successful relationship, we need to have self-control and choose our words wisely, so that they won't hurt anybody. Taking time to reflect before speaking and considering how our words may be perceived can greatly enhance communication. Additionally, practicing empathy can help us connect more deeply with our partner's feelings, reducing the likelihood of conflict and fostering a more harmonious and loving environment. By cultivating a habit of thoughtful dialogue, we not only protect our relationships but also nurture them, creating a safe space where both individuals feel valued and understood.
Primary Verse : “Love is kind… not rude.” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5)

This profound verse reminds us that love embodies the essence of kindness, highlighting its importance in our relationships. It encourages us to demonstrate grace and consideration towards others, ensuring that our words and actions reflect a gentle spirit. Love is not only about affection but also about treating each other with respect, understanding, and compassion, even when faced with challenges. By embracing these qualities, we create a nurturing environment where everyone feels valued and cherished, ultimately fostering stronger bonds and deeper connections within our communities.

Cross-Reference: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt.” — Colossians 4:6. 

This profound passage encourages us to communicate with kindness and thoughtfulness, emphasizing the importance of ensuring that our words are infused with grace and wisdom. Just as salt enhances the flavor of food, our speech should enrich the conversations we have, fostering understanding and connection. By approaching every interaction with a gracious attitude, we not only reflect our own character but also set a positive tone for those around us, creating an environment where mutual respect and empathy flourish.
  • Marriage: Words can build or break—choose gentleness, for in the tender moments of communication lies the foundation of trust and love that nurtures a lasting bond between partners.
  • Business: Communicate clearly, respectfully, and compassionately in all interactions, ensuring that your message is understood and received positively by everyone involved, fostering an environment of open dialogue and mutual respect.
  • Friendship: Speak truth in love—not in sarcasm or bitterness, as true friendship thrives on honesty and compassion, fostering deeper connections and understanding between individuals.

“Words are seeds… Be careful what you plant and what you say.” – Unknown

Principle: Love guards the tongue and uses words to heal, not harm. It encourages us to be mindful of our language, to choose our expressions with care and intention, fostering an environment where kindness prevails. Through our words, we can uplift others, alleviate their burdens, and create connections that enrich our lives and the lives of those around us. By speaking with love, we not only reflect our inner compassion but also inspire positivity and understanding in our relationships.

7. Create Room for Others

In building relationships in family, work, and with friends, we need to create room for others, allowing them to have different perspectives, thoughts, and ideas. This not only enriches our interactions but also fosters a deep sense of understanding and empathy. Allowing them to express their thoughts and feelings freely without the fear of judgment cultivates a safe space where vulnerability is embraced, resulting in deeper connections. It's essential to appreciate the unique perspectives that each person brings to the relationship, as these differences can serve as valuable lessons and opportunities for collaboration.

Primary Verse : “Love bears all things… endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:7). 

Love doesn’t control—it gives room for differences and promotes understanding. In a healthy relationship, love encourages individuals to express their unique perspectives, backgrounds, and beliefs without fear of judgment. Recognizing and respecting these differences allows partners to grow together, fostering a deeper connection that thrives on mutual support and empathy.

Cross-Reference: “Encourage one another and build one another up.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:11 

This powerful admonition serves as a reminder of the importance of fostering a supportive community among us, where we actively participate in uplifting each other through our words and actions. In a world often filled with challenges and difficulties, taking the time to offer encouragement can significantly impact someone's life, helping them to find resilience and hope. By sharing kind words and positive reinforcement, we can create an environment where everyone feels valued and motivated to grow, ultimately strengthening our bonds and collective spirit.
  • Marriage: Give space to your spouse to be himself or herself, allowing them the freedom to explore and express their unique personality, aspirations, and dreams, while also fulfilling God’s calling for him or her in both personal and spiritual growth.
  • Business: Don’t always push your own agenda; instead, consider the perspectives and needs of others to foster collaboration and build stronger relationships. By actively listening and engaging in open dialogue, you create an environment where everyone feels valued and heard, ultimately leading to more effective teamwork and successful outcomes that benefit all parties involved.
  • Friendship: Don’t always want the other person to understand and follow what you want; sometimes we need to give space for our friends to express what they want. This is essential in nurturing a healthy relationship, as it allows both individuals to grow and develop their perspectives, ultimately leading to a deeper connection founded on mutual respect and understanding. Embracing such moments can strengthen the bond and make the friendship more resilient over time.

“Love must be sincere. It gives freedom to grow and the grace to fail.”

– John Ortberg

Principle:  It’s essential that we don’t dominate or push our agenda onto the other person, as this can create tension and resentment. Instead, we should foster an environment of mutual respect and understanding, where both individuals feel valued and heard. By doing so, we can build a stronger connection based on trust and open communication, paving the way for a more fulfilling partnership.

Conclusion: Let Love Define Your Relationships

Verse: “Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:8)

When emotions fade and when circumstances change, love endures, standing as a beacon of hope amidst the turbulence of life. It weaves through the fabric of our experiences, anchoring us even in the stormiest of times. The world measures success by performance; God, however, measures it by how well we love, emphasizing that true fulfillment lies in the connections we nurture and the compassion we show. Love, in its purest form, fosters resilience, creating bonds that withstand the pressures of time, proving that at the end of the day, it is the love we give and receive that truly defines our journey.

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